I’m So F*&^ing Tired

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{GIF via What Should We Call Labor and Delivery}

My name is Kate, and I’m f*&$ing tired.

Let’s just go ahead and put that out there. I love life, life is good, I am blessed. I love my husband and daughter, I have a wonderful and rewarding job, and I have the most amazing friends in the universe. I love God and I am so grateful. I love mamas and babies more than anything in this world, and am blessed to have the opportunity to care for them. I feel so deeply blessed to have found such a calling in life.

BUT LET’S GET REAL FOR A SECOND. I have two full time jobs (one is being a nurse at a hospital and one is being a mother). I regularly go 24 hours without sleeping (maybe once a week or so)?!? I have gained 10 lbs in the last year (yep). Last night my patient at work complimented me on my beautiful grey hair (I’m 31 years old!) Some days I just feel a little like this ….

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Nourishing Traditions is my one of my favorite books, but mayonnaise sandwiches are one of my daughter’s favorite meals, and Dr. Pepper is like her crack (yep … that’s right). I believe in the Slow Food Movement, but sometimes we shop in the freezer section at Walmart (boom)! I read to my daughter almost every day, but she also knows how to post photos to Instagram (cringe).

As much as my husband and I fantasized about rearing our child in the Waldorf education model (when she was still in the womb of course), these days she knows all the characters from Parenthood on a first name basis (“Mama, what’s wrong with Crosby?”).

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Seriously Netflix … are you judging me right now?

As much as I desire balance (and appreciate Deepak Chopra’s urging for me to reach it) I am not balanced. I wish I were healthier, I wish I got more exercise, I wish I ate less cheese. I dream my little heart out and only accomplish 7% of what I want to.

Most of my friends have at least twice as many kids as I have (and a couple of them have TWINS!?!?) which literally blows me away when I think about it. Damn, those ladies are superheroes!

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For that matter, stay-at-home moms are superheroes. Moms that work are superheroes. Moms that get to the bottom of their laundry basket are superheroes (mine’s more like a pile). Moms that cook meals for their families are superheroes. Moms that feed hungry bellies every day period are superheroes. Moms that homeschool, moms that get their kids dressed with socks that match (or not) and dropped off at school on time (or not) every day. Moms that do dishes, make doctor’s appointments, and plunge toilets. Moms that find time to exercise, or don’t. Moms that wipe noses, bandage scrapes, and read bedtime stories every night (most at a much earlier hour than I do). Moms that wake up every morning feeling as F&*&ing tired as I do and keep going every day … y’all are SUPERHEROES.

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And so am I.

I’m busted and tired as s$&% and I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job all the time, but I am. I’m really freakin’ proud of what I accomplish everyday. I am quite SUPER.

And now I’m going to go eat a frozen pizza.

XOXO

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