Why I love my mombod.
Two weeks after I gave birth, I looked into the mirror and I started sobbing. Huge, swollen breasts stuffed with breast pads and a bra with more reinforcement than a covert military operation. Thighs and a butt so oversized (IMO) that, minus a round pregnant belly, looked like I could be an extra in a booty song music video. And my belly — oh my belly.
I had never come this up-close and personal to a mombod before, and now I owned one. What the f*** is going on? I thought. Am I ever going to look normal again?
Many friends of mine had babies close in age to mine, and by the time I went back to work, most of them had a plan and a regimen in place to lose the baby weight. One friend joined Crossfit. Another friend had meals the portion size equivalent to airplane food delivered to her house. Another only drank protein drinks that had the same ingredients as Ensure.
Meanwhile I was desperately trying to keep up my milk supply. Exclusively breastfeeding and pumping while at work made me ravenously hungry. I would wake up in the middle of the day after working night shifts to eat bowls of ice cream and shovel potato chips into my mouth.Somehow at 11 months postpartum I started to lose weight like gangbusters. I lost 15 lbs in one month. People started saying stuff like, “You look so amazing.” and “I can’t even tell you had a baby.” I smiled and said, “It’s the breastfeeding.”
I was still so ravenously hungry, and no matter how many pints of ice cream I ate I kept losing weight. I was also feeling heart palpitations. Several times I checked my pulse and counted 120 beats per minute, even though I was just laying around the house.
Yeah, I looked amazing. But I was sick — my thyroid levels were all out of whack and I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I got medical treatment and it ended up resolving on its own (after I suffered through it for another six months).
But I learned something so strange and amazing in the process ~~ by the time I got better and started gaining weight again, I was grateful for every extra curve. I feel so much stronger now than I did when everyone thought I “looked like I never had a baby.” Today I could even stand to lose 10 lbs (all that damn queso) but I don’t care.
I love my body. It’s strong and healthy. I go for long walks and climb flights of stairs with ease, without my heart feeling like its going to beat out of my chest. I can take my daughter camping alone, and do a badass downward-facing dog. I still eat as much ice cream as I should.
And you know what, I did get my body back. It’s mine and I love every little bit of it.